Reika,
My dreams these past few days have brought me nothing but anxiety.
The priestess who looks just like you, surrounded by young girls, is heading somewhere deep and far away, which looks almost like the edge of the world.
You, or rather the priestess, no longer smiles sadly as once she did; now, she simply stands there, staring into space like a husk devoid of life. Her body is smothered in countless tattoos to the point that I cannot see her beautiful skin, and it is such a heartrending sight that it makes my breath catch in my throat. As I watch, the priestess is led by the hand by the young girls, then put into a kago and taken somewhere beyond my reach.
There is no reason why I should know what will befall her at her destination; and yet somehow, I understand that I will never be able to see her again. I then awake in despair, relieved to find that I had been dreaming.
I wonder if it is correct for dreams to incessantly move in such a negative direction. Part of me wants to tell Dr. Asou about it, but at the same time I feel as if it would set in motion something that could not be undone, and it makes me hesitant to give voice to my thoughts.
Even though I am writing these letters addressed to you, they always end up like this as of late.
I plan on paying another visit to the doctor's laboratory once I have finished this letter. I hope I will have good news to share with you.
Kaname
Kaname's Letter 12
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The English content of this page features unofficial fan translations. |
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零華へ
ここ数日の夢は僕にとつては
不安以外のなにものでもなくなつてきてゐる。
君にそつくりの巫女さまが
幼い少女たちに囲まれて
この世の果てとも見えるやうな
遠く深くに行つてしまうのだ。
君は、あるいはその巫女さまは
もう以前のやうに寂しく微笑むこともなく
まるで命の抜け殻のやうに
虚空を見つめたままで佇んでゐる。
その体は無数の刺青で埋め尽くされてゐて
美しい肌が見えないほどで
僕はその痛ましさに息が詰まるやうな思ひをする。
そのあいだにも巫女さまは
童女に手を引かれ、籠にゆられて
手の届かぬところに行つてしまう。
そのさきで彼女がどんな目に遭うのか
僕は知らないはずなのに
もう二度と逢へないと悟つてしまひ、
絶望して目覚め、夢であることに安心するのだ。
こんなにも悪いほうにばかり向かう夢といふのは
夢として正しいものなのだらうか。
麻生博士に申し上げたいと思う一方で
なにか取返しのつかないことになるさうな気がして、
口に出すのが憚られる気持ちもある。
せつかく君に宛てて書く手紙なのに
最近はどうもこんな調子になつてばかりだ。
今日もこれから博士の研究室に伺うつもりである。
芳しい報告でもできるとよいのだが。
要