Director Haibara's Notes (3)

The English content of this page features unofficial fan translations.

Director Haibara's Note 2
Kanji	灰原院長の手記　三 はいばらいんちょうのしゅき　さん
Game	Fatal Frame: Mask of the Lunar Eclipse
Author	Shigeto Haibara
Chapter	Phase X: Fallen Petals
Located at	Haibara Hospital, Director's Office
Obtained	On the shelves to the right
Description	A note that appears to have been written by Director Haibara. It's about memory.
Additional Description	There are old research materials here.
Related Notes	Director Haibara's Note 1 & Director Haibara's Note 2

ENJA

Through experiments conducted with the masks acquired from Souya, their ability to control memories has gradually become clearer.

But... What is memory in the first place?

When a person is possessed by a spirit, they present as someone else, entirely. Their speech, conduct, and memories are those of another.

If that's the case, then aren't memories part of the possession itself?

...Humans are entities defined by memory.

Acquiring memories builds up and preserves our sense of self. By remembering the dead, they survive in our memories, and death itself is overcome. Forgetting means losing evidence of having lived. Forgetting everything, then, is not unlike dying.

But when all one's memories have been lost, what is left behind?

...The soul?

No, that's probably not it...

Maybe we are nothing more than a bundle of memories...

There was once a patient who couldn't forget anything. They expressed wishing it was possible to have memories erased.

I think it might be more painful to bear the clear recollection of one's entire life than it would be to have their memories disappear.

I've seen many patients crushed under the weight of the things they could not forget... Memories of sins... of mistakes... of regrets...

Memories are by no means limited to supporting the existence of the ego.

Some people die imprisoned within cages of their own memories.

...I wonder if anyone who keeps their memories is happy.

宗也の協力を得た面の実験により、
面による記憶の制御は
徐々に明らかになってきた。

しかし、記憶とは一体何なのだ？
霊に憑かれた人間は、
まったく別人のように見える。
言動も記憶もあたかも他人の様に振舞う。
だとしたら、本人が持つ記憶も、もしかしたら
憑き物のひとつではないだろうか？
⋯人間は記憶の生き物だ。
記憶があることで、人は自らを保つ。
死者を忘れないのも、死者を記憶の中で
生かし、死を乗り越えるためだ。
忘れることは生きていた証を失うこと。
すべてを忘れることは、死と同じだ。

しかし、全ての記憶が無くなったら、
何かが残るのか。
魂⋯？
いや、それは、無いのかもしれない。
人間はただの記憶の塊なのかもしれない⋯
全てを忘れられなくなった人間の症例。
その患者は、記憶を消して欲しいと願っていた。
記憶が消えることよりも、
すべてを憶えていることの方が
つらいのではないか？
私は、あらゆることが忘れられず、
記憶に押しつぶされる患者を何人も見てきた⋯
罪の記憶、過ちの記憶、後悔の記憶⋯
記憶とは、決して自我を支えるだけの
ものではない。
時に人は、記憶の檻の中で獄死する。
⋯記憶を保ち続ける人間は幸せなのだろうか？