Reika,
As I was writing a letter to you the other day, I remembered that I felt as if the house that I keep seeing in my dreams seemed a lot like the Kuze mansion near our village.
Things such as the large sacred tree roughly in the centre of the dream mansion and its hallway hung with masses of bells bear a considerable resemblance to the stories the adults used to tell us.
But why do I keep having the exact same dream each and every night, right down to the most minute of details? Perhaps it is somehow tied to my memories from when I was a baby.
I believe that you must have had some cause to have gone there before. Does anything about it strike you as familiar?
...No, forget I said anything. It's hopeless.
Part of me feels as though learning the secrets of my birth will do me no good at this point. I feel as if I am doing a disservice to the devotion of my current parents, who took me in as an abandoned child and loved me as their own, and it's not as if meeting my real parents will accomplish anything.
All I want is to know why they could not raise me themselves.
Though I left the village as if a man possessed, thinking I might be able to learn something here, to be perfectly frank I sense that I have come to a dead end. I must be trying to connect even the most trivial of things to clues regarding my childhood.
What I cannot figure out is why I hear your voice calling to me inside the Kuze Shrine, or what might link those two things together. What makes it all the stranger is that this is a place of which I myself have no memory whatsoever.
When I heard you in last night's dream, you sounded particularly sad. I am becoming a little worried that something painful has befallen you. Please let me know what is going on when you have the chance.
Kaname
P.S.
Thanks to me writing you all the time, I have completely neglected to contact my parents back home. I will write another letter later. Be sure to cherish your own parents, too.
Kaname's Letter 4
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The English content of this page features unofficial fan translations. |
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零華へ
先日手紙を書いてゐて思い出したのだが
どうも僕が夢に見ている家は
村近くにあつた、久世のお屋敷のやうな気がしてゐる。
夢の屋敷の中ほどにあつた巨大な御神木や
びつしりと鐘が吊るされた廊下などは
大人たちから聞いた話と、少なからず一致するやうなのだ。
しかしなぜ、あれほどまでに細部までぴたりと同じ夢が
毎晩々々現はれるのか。
もしかすると僕の赤子の頃の記憶に
繋がるものではないだらうか。
君ならなにかの折に
詣でることもあつただらうと思うが、
どうだらう、そんな景色に覚えはないかい。
・・・・・・いや止めておこう。詮無いことだ。
自分の出世の秘密を知つたところで
今更どうにもならないと感じてはゐる。
捨て子であつた僕を
我が子同然に可愛がつてくれた今の両親の真心を
無碍にしてしまうやうな気もするし
本当の親に逢つた処で、なにをすると云ふわけではないのだから。
ただどうして僕を育てることができなかつたのか
その理由が知りたいだけのことなのだ。
こちらでならなにか判るかもしれないと
憑かれたやうに村を出てしまつたものの
正直行き詰まりを感じてゐるので
些細なことでも幼少時の手がかりに結びつけてしまうのだらう。
しかしどうして久世の宮で君が呼ぶ声がするのか、
そのふたつを結びつけている理由が思ひ当たらない。
まして僕自身がまるで覚えのない場所なだけに
尚のこと不思議に思へてしまうのだ。
昨夜の夢に聞いた君の声は
ことさら寂しそうであつた。
なにかそちらで辛いことがあつたのではと
少し気がかりになつてゐる。
折りを見て、近況を知らせてくれたまへ。
要
【追伸】
君にばかり手紙を書いてゐるおかげで
村の父母に連絡を取るのを、すつかり怠つてしまつてゐた。
あとで一筆書いておくことにしやう。
君もどうかご両親を大切にするやうに。