My beloved Miss Reika,
Perhaps there is something special about family bound by ties of blood after all.
I could not love the parents who have raised me until now any more than I do. But at the same time, somewhere deep in my heart I at times find myself suddenly wondering how my real parents feel towards me now.
It is a fact that, due to a variety of reasons, they were unable to keep me, and I do not blame them for what they did. I originally came here in order to learn about the traditions of the family I was born to, as mentioned to me by my adoptive parents, so as to find out whatever I could about those reasons. Now, I simply silently wish to know more of the thoughts and feelings of the woman I see in my dreams who appears to be my mother.
It may be fair to say that this is no more than wishful interpretation on my part, but to me it feels as if she earnestly desires to be reunited with me. At times it frustrates me that, this being within a dream, I am unable to speak with her.
Sometimes, being parted from someone one knows they will never see again can be as painful as if that person had died. For this reason, perhaps grieving that separation and in some form burying our feelings that are left with nowhere to go is a very important process.
Ever since that woman dressed as a priestess began appearing in my dreams, the nature of my feelings has begun to change somehow. Perhaps she might even be acting as some sort of intermediary.
Though we may currently be leading separate lives, it brings me some small measure of comfort to believe that one day in the future we will be reunited once more.
I will return to the village before long. Please wait for me there.
Kaname
Kaname's Letter 10
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The English content of this page features unofficial fan translations. |
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親愛なる零華殿
血の繋がつた家族といふのは
やはり特別なものなのであらうか。
僕はこの歳まで育ててくれた両親に
このうえない愛情を抱いてゐる。
しかしまたその一方で、心のどこかに
本当の両親がいまの僕に
どんな気持ちを持つてくれてゐるのかと
ふいに感じたりもするのだ。
いろいろと事情があつて
僕が彼らの手元に置かれなかつたことは事実であるし
それを責めやうといふ気持ちはない。
当初はその事情を少しでも知つておきたいと
養父母が云ふ処の「生家のしきたり」を知るために
こちらに来たやうなものであつたが
そういつた気持ちよりも
夢の中の母らしき女性の想ひに近づきたいと
静かに願うばかりだ。
これもまた僕の都合のよい解釈なのだらうと云えばそれまでだが
彼女がひたすらに僕との再会を願つてくれているやうに感じられて、
夢の中故にもの云うことのできぬ自分を
もどかしく感じてゐたりする。
二度と逢えないと判つてゐる別れは
ときに死んだも同然の辛い現実となる。
だからその決別を悲しみ、
行き場のない想ひをなんらかの形で埋めてゆくといふのは
人にとつてとても大切なことなのかもしれぬ。
夢にあの巫女姿の女性が現われてから、
僕の気持ちの在りやうも、どこか変わつていくやうだ。
彼女はかような仲立ちをすら、してくれてゐるのであらうか。
君と今こうして別々の暮らしを営んではゐるが
またいつか再会できる未来があるのだと思へば
多少の慰みにもならう。
遠からずきつと村に帰るので
どこにも行かずに待つて居てほしい。
要