Yoshino Takigawa's Diary
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8/10: Sunny
I heard it's good for the heart to write in a diary and have someone read it. By doing this maybe I will stop seeing that terrible dream.
I'm sad being all alone.
If I can have someone read this, in some way, maybe I will connect with them.
8/11: Cloudy
My family and Naoya died.
But being alone is more frightening than even that harsh fact.
More than the accident itself, being the only one living afterwards, waiting endlessly -- that was more frightening.
Left all alone, in the total darkness.
A sweltering night, but freezing cold...
8/13: Cloudy
I had a nasty dream. Snow fell on an old abandoned house. I'm all alone and lost, but they might all be in the house.
I can meet them. I sensed that.
If I go in I can meet them. They're calling me. But if I go in, I may not be able to return. But if that's what he wants....
8/18: Cloudy
Bit by bit, I go in deeper. I'm cold. It's getting dark. I can hear a song.
Naoya's in there. Mom, Dad, everyone besides me -- all in there.
They all left me behind, left me and went in. Because only I survived.
8/27: Rain
It's painful. Is the pain the dream? The tattoo spreads.
The doctor says he can't see anything. Overseas they apparently call emotional trauma after an accident like this "PTSD".
But I can see it.
Sidenote: PTSD stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
/ : Rainy
After sleeping several days, I'm only half-awake. Gradually I come not to know whether I'm awake or asleep.
The doctor seemed interested when he listened to my story. Maybe he is becoming more sympathetic.
But that dream and the pain are mine alone.
The pain is spreading.
/ : Rainy? Not sure...
Am I to blame...
since I'm the only one who survived. But it's not like I chose to survive.
/ :
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
What should I do? What? Forgive me...
That woman is coming after me.
I can see her even when I'm awake.
/ :
I can't take being touched again.
I don't want to see anymore...